A quick update....

Hello all,

Sorry it's been a while since my last post......I'm enjoying some rest and recuperation at home and also negotiating an exclusive deal with the tab for my next post.  Either way you'll be hearing more from me very soon (and the next one's a good one!).

JJ x

Losing my cherry...

My experiences with Downing boy had opened the door to a completely new sexual world.  I was hungry for more but at the same time terrified that I would be caught out, and so for the rest of lent term I turned to the internet to help me out.  I wanted to meet other bisexual guys in Cambridge, and to explore the gay community, and to be honest I was getting a little sick of porn.  I wanted some real cock action for myself.  So I typed 'gay meet' into google, one eye on my laptop, another at my locked door, as I was convinced that somehow one of the lads was going to burst in any moment and catch me 'red handed'. 

I was overwhelmed at the whole underground gay community that exists online.  Pages and pages of search results on websites to meet other guys for pure sex.  I couldn't believe how open and honest people were - most had display pictures of their erect cocks so you knew exactly what you were (or weren't getting).  I signed up on a few of the sites, uploading a suitably x-rated photo for maximum exposure.  It wasn't long before I was inundated with emails from every man and his dog - young, old, fat, thin, big, small.  Whilst some of the guys made me feel physically sick, it was a welcome distraction from revision during my first exam term in Cambridge, and I started to chat every night to a small number of guys.  One of these guys in particular had been very persistent, and from the small photo I could see, he looked quite cute - short black hair, good pecs, and a cute little bubble butt.  Whilst I was keen for some way to release that exam term tension, I made a pact with myself that I wouldn't pursue any sexual relations until after exams.  However, that day couldn't cum quickly enough, and by the day I finished my exams, I was eager to lose my guy-virginity.  I'd given him my phone number, and as I partied the night away in Cindies, my phone was going crazy in my pocket.  I was also getting more and more drunk, and this was fuelling my horniness, so I made a snap decision.  Tonight was going to be the night. 

I slipped out of Cindies and made my way to the boys house near Asda by taxi. Let's call him Ron.  Ron assured me that as a phd student, he would be very discreet, and he also had the advantage of having his very own house.  As I walked up to his front door I was so nervous I was shaking uncontrollably.   He opened the front door and I rushed inside.  'Wow, you're fit he said'.  I had never let Ron see my face before so I was quite pleased that I hadn't disappointed him.  I let out a nervous laugh and gave him a cheeky smile as I didn't know what else to do.  He offered me a drink, but I declined, I had plucked up the courage to come all the way to his house and now I just wanted to do the dirty deed.  I was also conscious that I'd probably already had one too many.  Despite my beer goggles, he looked nothing like he had online. In reality, he was short, chubby and really not good looking at all.  The difference between what I had expected and what stood infront of me was actually very funny.  But I put those thoughts to one side, I WAS going to have sex tonight.  We moved into his bedroom where he was playing some cheesy gay porn movie and started to kiss.  It was pretty bad, and his stubble was grating on my face.  It all just felt very alien to me.  Ron took the lead, pulling my t-shirt over my head and unfastening my jeans before dropping to his knees and pulling my now semi cock out of my boxers. 

It was a pretty hot situation, and to be fair to Ron, he was an expert at giving head, and I imagined that he'd had a lot of practice.  The more I look back at the episode, the more I realise that Ron was just one of those sorry little losers who spend every evening on gaydar, searching for their next victim.  But I have to give him credit where it is due, within minutes my rock hard penis was flat against my stomach, we were sixty-nineing on the bed, and my head was bouncing up and down on his small cock whilst he sucked the life out of my balls.  Sucking cock wasn't really as I expected it to be.  It was salty and I felt slutty doing it.  I didn't really know what I was doing and my mouth was slopping all over the place, as I pulled his loose foreskin back and forth with my hand and stroked his shaven balls. He seemed to be enjoying it, but I just wanted to have sex and get out of there.  This was something that I had to do, for me. 

I told him to get on all fours and lube up his ass, which he did with a couple of his stubby fingers whilst I went in search of my jeans to find my wallet, and a condom.  Condom on, I lined up behind him and positioned my cock against his ass hole ready for penetration.  'Be gentle, be gentle' he kept saying as I started to slide my cock inside him.  There was a little resistance, and he hung his head, I think he was in a little pain, but he assured me to keep going.  Soon enough I was balls deep inside Ron, and as he climatised to the size of my cock I started to move in and out, picking up speed all the time.  It really didn't feel any different to having sex with a girl, except maybe a little tighter, and with a whiff of shit, which got worse the more I ploughed him.  It only lasted about five minutes as it was starting to get a little too painful for Ron, so I pulled out, whipped off the condom and asked if I could take a shower to which he said yes.  The sex really hadn't been that great, and there was no question at that time that I preferred vaginal sex.  However, Ron wasn't finished and a couple of minutes later joined me in the shower by dropping to his knees once more and finishing me off with his mouth.  He was definitely a 'bottom' or a 'sub' and loved servicing my manhood.  I pulled my cock out his mouth as I climaxed and jets of cum landed on his chest.  This clearly tipped Ron over the edge as he suddenly exploded aswell making a very loud orgasmic moan.

Once I'd cum I felt absolutely disgusting.  I couldn't believe what I had just done and I wanted to get out of there and get into my own bed by myself asap and forget the whole sorry episode.  So whilst Ron was still showering, I dried off, threw on my clothes and made for the door.......He popped his head around the bathroom door as I was about to leave.  'Do you play squash? We should play' he said.  I didn't play squash and I had no interest in ever laying eyes on Ron again, but I forced myself to give him a weak smile as I opened the door and left.  Sadly however, despite my thoughts on the long walk back into town that I would never touch, kiss, or have thoughts about a guy ever again, this wouldn't be the last time I would get intimate with a guy, nor would it be my last encounter with Ron......

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Look forward to releasing my next installment....

Have a lovely weekend

JJ x

The birth of a Queen...

It was a standard Friday night Queens Ents bop.  Lent term, first year. We'd been pre drinking for hours, and as we turned up at Queens College an hour early pissed out our heads, we knew that it was going to be an interesting night.  Slowly, the event started to fill up.  I’m not exactly sure how we made contact.  But I'm sure it was him who first set eyes upon me.  I froze.  I didn’t know what to do.  Surrounded by my friends I was conscious that I had to act completely normal if I was to avoid arousing suspicion.  But something inside me stirred.  It was the direct attention he was giving me.  I was loving it.  Those big brown eyes, the full lips, and the stocky physique.  I wanted to succumb to his demands right there and then.  And when I want something that bad, I don’t let anything get in the way of me getting it.  My vodka induced confidence grew and I wanted to let him know that tonight I was his.  I persuaded my friends to come to the bar and get some more drinks, close to where he was standing, so that I could get closer to him, offer him some more eye contact, and brush my hand against his ass as we walked by.  I still get the warm feeling when I think about it now.  His ass felt great and as I caressed it, he turned his head so that we were face to face, only centimetres apart, and I wanted to kiss him right there.  It lasted only a brief second, but to me at that time, this was a big step.  I was venturing into the unknown, and I was riding a high. 

Time at the party passed, and soon I found myself amidst the packed dancefloor.  They were playing drum and bass, which I hate, but in our intoxicated state, the group of us were just glad not to be burning the midnight oil in our rooms essay writing.  Then, in the corner of my eye I saw the mysterious boy enter the room. We held eye contact as we danced on opposite sides of the room, until about ten minutes later when he motioned for me to meet him near the bar.  I did so, ensuring that I was out of sight of my group of friends.  He introduced himself, and for the purposes of this book we will call him Matt.  He was from Downing College, and so from that moment on, I would always think of him as ‘Downing boy’.  He handed me a small piece of paper and squeezed my hand whilst doing so.  ‘I am either going to get a big kiss or get punched in the face right now’ he said.  He then asked me what my name was to which I replied and he told me, rather loudly, that he thought I was ‘really cute’, attracting the glances, and frowns, of dancers nearby.  At that point, reality kicked in and I made muttered some quick excuses and hurried through the crowd back to my friends, who were completely oblivious.  I never saw him at Queens’s again, but as we moved on to Spoons’ at about midnight, I couldn’t stop thinking about him.  So I texted him and we arranged to meet outside his college. 

I told my friends I was going out to get some air and sneaked out of Spoons without causing a scene.  We rushed inside the college grounds to avoid being seen and found a secluded bench under the trees in Downing gardens.  He proceeded to ask me questions about myself and my sexuality, as well as explain the situation he found himself in after having outed himself to his family and his religous community.  However, there was only so much talking I could take.  My legs were shaking as I was so nervous, but I suddenly moved in for a kiss.  His lips were so soft and as his tongue delved into my mouth to meet mine it felt euphoric.  I felt a momentous rush to suddenly do everything I had dreamed of doing for months, maybe years.  So as his soft hand caressed my cheek i moved mine quickly down from his strong chest to his manly thighs.  I was getting turned on and could feel my erect cock pressing against my boxers, bursting to get out of my jeans.  So I slid my hand from his thigh to his crotch.  I was very impressed.  I could feel the outline of a throbbing hard cock, big by anyones standards, and I proceeded to rub it up and down.  His breathing got heavier.  We were caught up in the moment, that was until he pulled my hand away.  I was confused.  Had I moved too fast?  Had I scared him away? ‘Woah’ he said, and then explained that he wasn’t interested in just sex.  I have to admit that I felt a bit rejected, and this gave the kick back to reality that I needed.  I explained that I needed to get back to my friends.  Matt asked me to stay a little longer, but I had made up my mind.  I was already getting more and more paranoid by the second, and as I looked through the trees to the college buildings, the small windows lit up told me that it was time to go before I was seen.  When I reached Spoons, a couple of friends remarked that I had been a while, they asked whether I was ok, but then the moment passed and I rejoined the group long into the night, with Downing boy never far from my mind. 

Over the next couple of weeks, Matt continued to try and contact me by text and by adding me on facebook.  I was freaked out at what had happened and made a pact with myself that it would never happen again.  Cambridge was a very small place, and over the course of nervous conversation that evening, Matt had told me that he had some very good friends at my college.  I was paranoid that he would tell them what had happened, and that I would be exposed, possibly losing my closest friends.  I didn’t know what to do.  Should I keep him sweet or should I just cut him out of my life for good?  I decided that at some point I would have to cut off contact from him, so I blocked his number on my phone and ignored his friend request on facebook.  This didn’t stop me worrying though, and for the next  few weeks at least I was petrified that my life as I knew it was soon to be over.  Over the next couple of years I would see Downing boy around the city quite abit, but everytime I would look the other way, out of embarrassment and the fear that somehow one of our mutual friends would see me acknowledging him and instantly question any friendship that we had, given that he had openly outed himself.  However, I have to admit that the euphoric feeling I experienced whilst kissing him and stroking his cock is something that has stayed in my mind ever since, and many times I have taken myself back to that situation mentally whilst giving myself some hand party. 

A very warm welcome....

Hello guys and girls....

Welcome to the life of Joseph Jezabel*! 

I've decided that now is the time to tell the story of my double life, my bisexuality, and the REAL LIFE sexual escapades I have encountered whilst studying at the prestigious, world renowned University of Cambridge......think orgies, think tutor rendezvous', think explicit, think love.

So for now that's all I have to say.  I will be uploading my first installment within the next few days and I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.

JJ x

*Whilst everything you read is 100% real life, to protect my own identity I'm going to have to live it through the fictional character Joseph Jezabel. I hope you like him.